


Dirk Gently : Magus Detective

by SaritAadam



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: almost everyone really - Freeform, alternative universe, fantasy!au, i will upload the tags further probably, long fic, magus!dirk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-15 21:21:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9257810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaritAadam/pseuds/SaritAadam
Summary: Medieval fantasy!auEverything was fine for Todd...Well, not really. But at least nothing was too much complicated.But it was before he loose his job and was stalk by a weird Magus.





	1. Chapter 1

Todd was tired. He had worked all night. He didn't understand why his boss kept the inn open during that time. They were pretty far from the city's gates so it's not like night travelers would come take a room here. And their actual patrons usually slept pretty well.

So yeah, Todd had passed a really long and boring night. But he didn't complain much, he needed the money.

Fortunately, slowly, the night turned into the morning. The fresh food was delivered, the cook arrived, the patrons began to awake and the young inn keeper would soon be home.

But something was odd this morning: it already had a patron in the restaurant, beside the ones who slept here. He had arrived soon after the cook, ordered a hot milk and was waiting.

He was a Magus. Or at least Todd thought he was one. He was wearing a Magus dress, in an unusual yellow color, with an assorted hat. But he didn't have the cane adorned with an orb like the city's magicians. He also didn't have the serious and concentrated look of the other Magus, but joyful dark blue eyes and a bright smile.

Todd found the man weird.

Once his glass was empty, the man began agitated, he was playing with the recipient, jigging on this chair, looking around the inn impatiently. After a short time, he stood up and walked by Todd with his idiot, weird, big bright smile: “Hi! Sorry to bother you, I was supposed to have a meeting here and, well, _obviously_ the person isn't here or else I wouldn't be alone at the table right here with my glass of milk nor would be talking to you...”

“So?” Todd cut him. The man was talking really fast and had an accent. “How can I help you?”

“Yes. Well, my meeting told me to go in his room if he was late and he obviously is. Unfortunately, I don't know in which room he is, so this is where you play your part, by telling me the room.”

At the sentence, the Magus leaned against the counter, with an expecting look. Todd sighed: “Look man, I... I can't tell you the room. I don't know you, or the other guy-”

“B-”

“Or your relationship.” The colorful magician made a pouty face. “For all I know, you just want some trouble with the guy, and if one of the clients has problems, I have problems. My boss don't appreciate scenes.”

“Trouble? I'm just a humble, totally normal, Magus,” he laughed, nervously. “What trouble could I cause?”

“No offense, but you don't look like a normal Magus.”

“Better!” The man acted like Todd just said something genius. “I am _not_ a normal Magus! If I cause trouble you could find me easily!”

“It's not-” the human paused, sighed and rolled his eyes. “Just please, got back to your seat. I'll bring you an other milk.”

But the magician didn't move. He stood behind the counter, thinking. After a short silence he cried out:

“Oh oh! I know! If you don't tell me the room, I will check every room. I'm sure you _will have_ problems after that.”

Todd stared at the Magus. Then he sighed and turned to grab the register. He was too tired for this.

When he turned back, he saw the other man trying to hide his satisfaction. He was failing miserably.

“What's the name of your meeting?” Todd said while opening the register.

“Patrick Spring.”

“Patrick Spring?” The inn keeper repeated, incredulous. The Magus seemed confused: “Yes?”

Todd shrugged but keep looking in the register. He was wondering if the other man wasn't making fun of him because there was no way Patrick Spring, the richest and most notorious man of Magrathea, would spend a night in a shitty inn-

The name was in the register.

“R- Room 7.”

“Thank you!” The man smiled and went to the stairs.

Todd waited a moment, afraid of what could happen upstairs. But it seemed as quiet as always, and the next patrons to come downstairs didn't complain about a weird Magus in a yellow dress, so he supposed that everything was fine.

Fifteen minutes later, his boss arrived.

“Good morning mister Palacios.”

“Todd! Would you please hang this for me.” The dwarf gave him a flyer about the next great event of the city: the complete adoption of Princess Mona. The young man put it next to the one about the disappearance of Lydia Spring. When he came back behind the counter, Palacio was on his step ladder, checking the register.

“Did anything happen?” the dwarf asked.

“No sir, it was a quiet night.”

“Huhum.” There was a short silence after that. “No move in the room 7?”

At the words, Todd felt his blood freeze. “N-No.”

“Could you check it? The client didn't manifest himself since noon yesterday. After that you could quit.”

The young man nodded and went upstairs.

_Why in the name of Morüik the Giant One should_ _my_ _boss worry about the room_ _I_ _just let someone have access to?_ Todd tried to relax, telling himself that if the occupant was Patrick Spring (which he had a hard time to believe) then mister Palacio was just cautions with a patron of standing.

Once in front of the door, Todd sighed, putting himself together. Ready to show his most professional act, he knocked. The door opened under his knocks.

Todd swallowed : “H- Hello? An- Anybody's here?”

No answer.

The man pushed the door, revealing a crime scene.

 

* * *

 

The Sergent Estevez took off his helmet while inspecting the celling of the inn's room. It was badly burnt on some spots. There were two other spots on the walls, one next to the window and one above the bed. The furnitures weren't spared either: the mattress was teared apart, feathers spread on the floor, one chair burned and the little table broken under the weight of one of the two dead man.

“What could do that?” he asked.

“The doctor said it was electricity.” Zimmerfield answered behind him. Estevez turned back to his parter: “Electricity?”

“Huhum. He said the two guys were touched by a short but strong electric shock.”

Estevez looked one of the burned spots before asking: “What could do that?”

“He said a lighting bolt.”

“A lighting bolt?” Estevez repeated, septic.

“A lighting bolt.”

“A lighting bolt in a room?”

“A lighting bolt in a room. Maybe caused by a raiju. There are many traces of paws from a little mammal all around the place.”

“A raiju?” Estevez looked even more septic. Zimmerfield shrugged. They both knew the animal ran away from humans and was nearly impossible to capture. “The other possibility,” Zimmerfield spoke again, “is a little thunderbird. There are also marks of claws.”

Estevez didn't answer. The last time someone saw a thunderbird was decades ago.

“Could the paws or claws be Patrick Spring's? The man's a skin-walker, right?”

“No it can't-”

“Right.”

“Patrick Spring turns into a husky.”

“Right.”

Estevez turned on himself, looking one last time at the mess. “So... Should we ask the inn keeper if he saw a raiju or a little thunderbird?”

“He's waiting for us in the kitchen.”

Todd was indeed waiting in the kitchen. He was sitting on a chair they brought from the dining room while mister Palacios was standing next to him. The cook was not here but in the other room, taking care of the pub and the clients. Todd tensed a little when he saw the two soldiers of the watch enter the room.

“Sergents Estevez and Zimmerfield” Estevez said. Palacio stepped away, letting the two soldiers surround his employee. “Are you Todd Brotzman?”

“Y-yes.”

“You're the one who discovered the bodies, right?”

“Yes. Did... did you know who those guys were?”

“You're the one asking that?” Estevez sniggered.

“Y-yes?”

The Sergent laughed a little louder and looked at his partner who didn't speak until then: “Mr. Brotzman, we're the ones here who's asking the questions.” Zimmerfield shook his fox tail, making sure Todd could see it. When the old Sergent was in uniform, the tail was the only sign that he was a furry, his claws hidden by the gloves and the ears by the helmet. The man had found out in his youth it was sometimes useful to remind people of the fact that he was part fox, the myths surrounding this animal convinced people that the Sergent was outsmarting them and was knowing a lot more than what he was saying. And with the wide eyes Todd was making, seemed like his little trick worked once again.

“S-sorry.”

“Do you know who rented this room, mister Brotzman?”

“According to the register it was Patrick Spring-”

“According to the register?” Estevez interjected.

“Are you not sure, mister Brotzman?” Zimmerfield said.

Todd's gaze went back and forward between the soldiers: “I mean... I wasn't there when he took the room. Was he really him? Patrick Spring really rent a room here?”

“Yes, he did.” Estevez answered.

“So those guys... Were they his bodyguards or-”

“You're still asking questions, mister Brotzman.” Zimmerfield cut him.

“Sorry.”

“Did you see anything?” Estevez asked. “Any weird costumer? Someone who arrived late? Any animal?”

“A-animal?” Todd toke a moment to think at the strange question. “I don't think so. And as for the costumer-” The inn keeper had an hesitation when he remembered the weird Magnus. When he spoke again, his voice wasn't as assured as he would have liked: “Most of them were in their rooms when I took my shift and nobody came all night.”

It wasn't technically a lie.

The two sergents looked at one other. Zimmerfield's tail shook a little faster.

“Did you quit your post during the night, mister Brotzman?”

“N-no.” Todd's eyebrows frowned.

“Come on,” Estevez said. “You had to go to the loo at one point, right?”

“Yes, or to the kitchen for a glass of water.”

“It happened” Todd admitted. “But if I do I can still hear the bell and it didn't ring.”

“Could they come in by that door?” Estevez pointed the door which led to the backyard.

“Maybe,” the inn keeper answered. “But it was locked, and they still had to pass in front of me to go upstairs.”

The soldier looked at each other again. Zimmerfield shook his tail creepily fast now. Estevez straightened, his whole stature dominating Todd.

“You know what, mister Brotzman?” he said. “Your story is... What's the term.”

“Suspicious,” Zimmerfield answered.

“Suspicious!” Estevez repeated.

“W-what?”

“Yeah. We found two men who weren't in the inn yesterday evening, dead in the room of a guy who's now missing, and you say you didn't see anyone? Very suspicious! Eyebrows!” Estevez pointed at Zimmerfield. When Todd looked the furry, he saw him raising his eyebrows.

“I-I-”

“Brotzman!” Estevez's voice was bossy. “I'm gonna ask one last time. Did you see anyone or anything weird?”

“Yes. N-no. Ma... maybe... I- I don't...”

Estevez looked a little surprised and mostly done: “Are you aware you just gave every possible response to that question?”

Zimmerfield hadn't down his eyebrows.

Todd sighed: “It wasn't really weird, just... unusual. Generally the morning, we just serve the patrons who slept in. But today there was a man-”

“A man?” Estevez said.

“A Magus. He waited in the restaurant a little and then wanted me to tell him the room of a client.”

“Did you tell him the room?”

Todd looked at his boss who was still in the kitchen: “No,” he lied. “But he's a Magus, so he may have find an other way in.”

“What did he look like?” Zimmerfield asked.

“He wore a yellow dress-”

“Yellow?” Estevez cut. “Are you kidding us?”

“No-”

“Magus don't wear yellow dress.”

“They're not allowed to.” Zimmerfield told.

“They're not allowed to.” Estevez repeated.

“The only colors their dress can have are brown, gray and white. And it depends of their rank.”

Todd looked the two soldiers, babbling. He didn't know what answer to that.

“Well” Zimmerfield eventually said. Estevez step away from Todd as if it was a cue. “I think we have what we need for now. But we inevitably will need to see you again, mister Brotzmann.”

“So don't leave town.”

“Don't leave town.” the furry repeated.

_Shit!_ Thought Todd. _I'm fucked! What will I do? How will I take care of Amanda? Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuc-_

“Todd! You're with me?”

The young man looked down at Palacio who was back next to him. The soldiers weren't there anymore.

“Sorry mister, I... Sorry. What were you saying.”

“I was firring you.”

“What? Mister Palacio, I swear I'm not guilty! There is no need to-”

“I know but it's a naughty story. This establishment don't need naughty stories.”

The young man wasn't capable of formulating any coherent thought. Before he knew what he was doing, his mouth spoke: “Could you pay me the night then?”

The dwarf laughed. “The door is here, Todd.”


	2. Chapter 2

Todd was so lost in his thoughts that he wasn't conscious during his way back home. He let his feet guide him in one of the most poor part of Magrathea, where the path were not paved, the clothes shops where selling only used outfits, no one wanted to know what food sellers were really putting in their meals and where the smell of excrement, both animal and human, was the strongest.

The former inn keeper was still lost in his thoughts when he pushed the door of the petty narrow clay house he called home. But the vision of a man in yellow stepping over his window brought him back to reality.

“Hi!” the Magus said.

“You!” Todd yelled while he rushed toward the intruder. This one wanted to avoid the small man but he hadn't quite completely stepped over the window yet. Therefore, he tripped and fell into a full bathtub which was next the window. Todd grabbed him by his collar. The Magus didn't put up a fight, he simply looked extremely surprised by the turn of event.

“What did you do to Patrick Spring?”

“I did nothing to him!” the intruder responded, indignant. “He was already gone! In another topic, why did you have a bathtub full of water while no one is bathing?”

Todd was ready to answer something not really polite.

“Todd?” Amanda called him while going down the stairs (well, more of a ladder, really). “What's going on?” She turned around, seeing the two men and the odd scene. She frowned: “Why is there a man in my bath?”

“I'm sorry” the Magus said. “I accidentally fell in it when-”

“Shut up!” Todd ordered. “Amanda, do you think you can ask someone to bring back the Guard?”

“Don't call the Guard!” the other man panicked.

“What did he do?”

“Nothing!”

“He killed two men this morning!”

“No I did not! They were already completely dead when I came in the room!”

“He killed two guys? Where? Was it in the inn?”

“Yes.”

“I didn't kill anyone! And by the way, the fact that two men were in a room they shouldn't have been let me think that all your “I can't let you go upstairs” speech was completely minotaurshit!”

“Listen asshole!” Todd gripped the man harder. “I lost my job because of you so I'm clearly not in the mood-”

“You lost your job?” asked Amanda, clearly horrified.

Todd looked at her: “I'm- Yeah. But I'll find another one. Everything will be okay, I promise.”

The woman nodded slowly, willing to trust her brother. The intruder took advantage that the other man's focus wasn't on him to break his grip and step out the bathtub: “I'm sorry for your job,” he said, making Todd shivered. “But I swear I have nothing to do with those murders, and I will be really glad if you let me explain myself before calling the Watch. Please.”

“Like hell we-” Todd began.

“Okay.” Amanda cut him.

“What!” her brother screamed. He gripped her by her shoulder. “Amanda, are you crazy? This man is a murderer!”

“No I am not!” said the man, obviously jaded.

“Come on Todd, we can't just leave him to the guard if we're not sure he did anything.”

“Yes we can!”

“Let him talk first.” she smiled and gently pushed her brother. “It could be fun.”

Todd looked at her sister, totally terrified. But before he could say something, the other man smiled: “Thank you! Well, my name's Dirk Gently and I'm a Magus det-”

“Magus?” Amanda laughed while Todd rolled his eyes.

“Yes?” Dirk said confused. “Is the dress not obvious enough?”

“Magus don't wear yellow dress.” responded Todd with the ton of someone who always knew this fact.

“Well, maybe not in your one-city-tall country, but I'm not from here, which you have probably already guess with my accent-”

“Everyone in Magrathea have an accent!” Amanda cut him again.

Dirk paused a minute before asking, visibly confused: “They have?”

“Yeah” confirmed Todd, much more blasé than his sister.

“Well I... it changes nothing about the fact that I'm not from here.”

“And in your home country they also don't have cane?” Amanda asked, impish.

“Oh yes they have. But...” the Magus slipped his hand in the opening of his dress and pulled out a twig with a translucent rock attached in the extremity by a strand of twine. He was obviously really proud of it. “I made myself a wand! It's much more transportable.”

“Cool!” Amanda was having the fun of her life, to the great misery of Todd, who had stepped back when the other man had put out his wand. “Can you show us magic?”

“If I can?” Dirk didn't managed to hide his excitement. “I'm gonna dry myself, so look closely. … Are you watching?”

“Yes!” the young woman answered with excitation while Todd rolled his eyes.

In hindsight, Todd is convinced he would have totally freaked out at the idea of Dirk doing magic if he hadn't been exhausted by his morning.

Dirk touched himself with the rock.

Out of nowhere, a hot wind raised in the house. Burning. Todd felt like he was standing an inch away from a fire and the air he inspired was so hot it left his throat dry. He couldn't keep his eyes open.

It lasted a few seconds, stopped as suddenly as it began, leaving a dry but confused Dirk and a hyperventilating Amanda.

“Hey Amanda, are you okay?” asked Todd by her side. He wet his hand in the bathtub and put it in his sister's arm, hopping the water wouldn't be too hot.

“I'm okay, I'm okay! I just thought that I was... but no. I'm fine.”

“Did... Did I do something wrong?” Dirk asked them, more confused than before.

Todd looked at him angrily while Amanda shake her head: “I'm fine,” she repeated. “Just... keep explaining yourself.”

The Magus nodded slowly: “I'm a Magus detective-”

“Dude,” Amanda cut him for the third time, “you look even less like a detective than a Magus.”

“Of course! How could I do my job if I looked like a detective?”

“Oh yeah, fair point.”

“Just...” Todd interjected. He could hear his bed calling for him and really didn't want to make it wanting. “Tell us what happened this morning, please.”

“I am a Magus detective” said Dirk. “That means I use my magic abilities for helping people and solve crime. Patrick Springs hired me.”

“Hired you? Why?” asked Todd.

“I don't know. He was supposed to give me the details this mor-”

“Dudes, come on” Amanda said. “He hired him to find his daughter.”

“Patrick Spring's daughter's missing? Interesting!”

“No, I mean why did he hired someone?” Todd said. “Every guard in the city is looking for her and the guy probably have a private guard of something.”

“Well, maybe he did not need any more guard. Maybe he needed a Magus!” Dirk answered.

“And why did he give you a rendez-vous at an inn?” Todd asked again. “Why not at his mansion?”

“I don't know” Dirk shrugged. “I just did what his letter told me to do.” He put out his dress a letter he gave to Todd. Amanda looked at it over his shoulder. It was a good paper with a broken seal, Patrick Spring's name in signature and the inn's address. “So I went to the inn” Dirk continued, “but Patrick Spring didn't show, so I asked you what his room was and when I came there I found two dead bodies and a quite stricken room. That's it.”

“Wait, how did you get out? I didn't see you.”

“Oh, I went by the window. Patrick Spring wasn't there so he certainly left, but probably not by the front door otherwise you would have told me, unless you were an incompetent but you didn't seem like one so I excluded this possibility.” Todd did not really have the time to wonder if he should take it as a compliment, Dirk kept talking: “So he should have left by the window and I decided to try it so I could see if it is possible. And, well, it is not. I only succeeded because I had my magic-”

Todd didn't really listen anymore. _This guy is stupid! Everyone can see it's impossible to leave by the window just by looking by it!_

Dirk was still talking, some things about Patrick Spring who may be a magician himself. The incessant babbling lulled Todd, and somewhere in the back of his mind, he asked himself when he stopped considering the weird man as a possible murderer.

“Why did you come here?” said Amanda, waking up Todd.

“Well, I wanted to ask him some questions” Dirk responded, pointing at Todd. “So after a little investigating, I came back to the inn and asked the nice man behind the counter where I could find you. He gave me your address and the direction but I kind of derived from the good path and I ended up having to climb your window.”

“What do you want to ask me?” Todd demanded. He rubbed his eyes and Amanda, noticing how tired he was, forced him to sit on one of the two chairs in the room. Dirk sat in the other one, in face of Todd, smiling: “Well, I would like you to tell me who were the men you let go in Patrick Sping's room.”

Todd felt angry again and groaned: “I didn't let anyone in. I didn't see those guys came in.”

“But you had to! I mean... They couldn't go upstairs without passing in front of you. I checked!”

“I know! And the guards didn't fail to recall it to me. But they did pass without me noticing them and I can't explain how, okay?”

“Interesting” said the detective in a low voice. “Mister, I am really sorry for the lost of your job but I think it is an opportunity for you!”

“What the-”

“You're obviously completely into this weird situation and your help will be absolutely necessary to resolve the case!”

“What case?”

“The disappearance of Patrick Spring, of course!”

Years later, Dirk still believed that throwing him out the house was overreacting.

 

* * *

 

Riggins liked the poor parts of big cities: everyone minded their own business and didn't care about two more weirdos standing in the street. His young colleague, on the other hand, was stressed by so many possible threats.

The soldiers had found a spot where they could see almost all the interior of the house Dirk went in: the side of the bathtub, the hearth, the shelf with the plates and food and the table. They couldn't see the stairs but had a view on half of the doors and didn't miss the exit of Project Icarus.

The old man sighed: “We have to move now before we lose the target.”

“Should we eliminate the threats, sir?” asked Friedkin next to him.

“What threats?” Riggins turned to his colleague. He was firing a bag of powder.

The old soldiers hit Friedkin's hand, throwing away the bag before it was on fire. Then, he slapped the young man with energy, losing his hood: “What in Urzean name?! Are you trying to compromise everything?!”

“So- Sorry. I'm sorry sir.”

Riggins eventually regained some calm. He put back his hood on his head and ordered to move.

Meanwhile, the little bag of powder did not just fall on the floor like the old soldier imagined. It bounced and rolled, hurt itself on a pebble, making a hole in the tissue, and kept bouncing, strewing in the wind half of its contents. Twenty feet away from the soldiers spot, the little bag met a house. But it didn't just stop itself on one of the walls, no. There was a hole in the house, just in the bottom of the door, between it and the wall. The hole was big enough for the little bag to roll through. And this is what it did. The house's windows were closed, and the room was lighted by candles. Lots of candles. The little bag hit one, which felt, dragging a couple more with it. One flame licked the little bag.

The man in the house heard the sound of the falling candles. Intrigued, he got closer to them and saw the little bag. Intrigued even more, he got more and more closer. Tilting his head, he put it right above the now burning little bag.

The little bag exploded at the man's face.

The woman tied up on the bed didn't know if she should feel relieved or scared.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it. I would like to thanks my friend who accepted to be my beta, but mostly convinced me to write this fic... while she doesn't even watch the show!  
> And don't forget: make an author happy, leave a kudos and/or a comment ;)


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